Worst Day Ever

The worst day ever is when i spend a day with you.
The worst day ever is when you ask me out.
The worst day ever is when you ask me to dance.
The worst day ever is when you buy me flowers.

But the best day ever is when you break up with me.

Worst Thing Ever.......

You might wonder what the worse thing ever could have happened to your family. They could have been robbed, kidnapped, or ur dog died. Well i know exactly wat it is. The worst thing that happened to your family is when you were born.

Words of Wisdom From a Pineapple

When your sitting at the breakfast table and theirs a pineapple on the counter just stare at it. And if you are lucky it will jump out at you and ask for it to take it to Neverland. Then you and your pineapple will be best friends forever. Dont let it go...it cant fly.

Birds and Poo?

sometimes you will sit wiht ur gf/bf and watch the birds, and sometimes a bird will poo on ur head, and then ur bf/gf will realize how ugly u really are. So next time you sit with ur bf/gf, watch out.....especially if i am the bird. Then their will be extra poo.

Christmas...A happy time?

you may think that christmas is a time to enjoy the love of your family and the presents that santa gave you. Ok first of all when i was 4 years old Santa never brought me my princess barbie, WELL hes evil!!!!!! But it has been eight years later and i dont need the stupid barbie anymore. So if you ever see Santa on t.v. yell at him. I hope he feels the pain and then i hope he learns his lesson. if you get the message of this post good your smart! but if you didnt im sorry im not a brain damage doctor

Sundays....

On Sundays your parents would always yell at you to throw out the trash. It was hard work until you built those little things on ur arms called muscles…if you have the them……today they don’t help you at all because everything can be expressed in your mind…if you have one. Don’t worry I think some college will take you.

What goes on in your Head?!?!

Sometimes an apple will fall off a tree, or sometimes it will land on your head.
Maybe the sun will fall down on your face, and then you will die.
The thing that is in your head may never respond to these actions ever again..y may you ask. Bcuz it doesnt have time to watch you be yourself.

Steamrollers and Teddy bears

Sometimes we see shiny objects, and we want them so we walk toward them. Then we realize the shiny object is a steamroller and before we know it we are flat as pancakes and not very shiny at all. Sometimes we look back and remember the teddy bear we had when we were little, and you thought it was your best friend, but you were wrong. The teddy bear only liked you as a friend. You were never anything more then friends, because the teddy was best friend was a tree, because trees are way better friends then you.

Warning

Warning: never eat pizza before going to bed.....or u die of the pain

Everything has a reason to Hate You

If you think that you can rule stuff thats not living well your wrong!!! the posters on your wall would want to rip apart so then they wont have to look at you changing all the time. The light switch has a rite to turn on and off whenever it wants tobcuz who says you have to flip the switch. The car might not start bcuz its tired and needs a break. But theirs always reasons for that.....cuz u just werent meant to be in the world.

Ourworld!!

I was on ourworld.com and i saw this noob and she said that the scariest thing was when her bf threw her overboard. and i was like i think i would have been happy if he did that so i wouldnt have to hear u whine anymore. So the next time you ever see a noob anywhere throw them overboard...unless its me, then you would feel the pain. But in order for you to that JOIN OURWORLD!

Chat box.

down on the bottom of my little site there is a magic chat box...but it is not for insulting. that is my job. and just so you know who i am... i am SoccerFanz1 and also my friend VanillaTwilight helped me build the site, she is not and imposter, or stalker telletubie.

Stalkers?

Everyone these days have a stalker. a hitious person who will just follow u around all day. WELL U KNOW WAT!!! were gonna put an end to this....not really. I would just like to tell you that if u choose to stalk me i live in Candy Mountain and i am a fairy who wont grant wishes to ugly ppl.(harry potter.) Good Luck Finding Me!

Small Monster

When you were a small little monster you would always want things. Like the needle sitting on your parents desk, or the innocent remote control resting on the coffee table. Well wat a joy you were to have around.

Snowman Love?

Have you ever seen a snowman before? Just standing out on your lawn on a beautiful winter day? Well….APPARENTLY they are abducting our brains…our minds….and yes that explains a lot in this world…and I mean a lot. So the next time you see a snowman hit it with a baseball bat then eat a popsicle, you feel much better about your self. Trust me I have done it.

Joy to the World!!

Whenever I come see you…which is not often bcuz of my health I just look at that hair, not like its anything bad….sort of. As I write this passage I think about the ways how you could feel better about your self. You could jump off a cliff or pet a grasshopper but remember this as long as you don’t look like harry potter you will bring the world some joy, your good…kind of. Joy to the World!!

Harry Potter Haters

I don’t mean to be a hater to harry potter but when he started acting in a great movie the world went black. All the happiness went away as if the demonter had sucked out everyones soul. It was the worst thing that could have happened to the world. So while you are reading this passage just go outside and go to a tree and say, “im glad you are not harry potter but, you could have better hair.” Trust me this tree will be so happy…unless im the tree cuz I have great hair.

Dating

Here is some dating advice for all you singles. Date a tree. You will get married, and have kids, underground, next to its roots. You will have kids named leafy, barky maybe even stem. You will have a beautiful life, unless that tree is me. So instead of going on those dumb dating sites, you will find better luck with trees. There is a tree for everyone, even the dumb ones. I’m sure there are dumb trees.

Happy Halloween From The Haters!

Sometimes, in our dreams, we dream of scary, scary things. teletubies, for example. i dream that teletubbies will come and eat you, but then i realize that if teletubies came and ate you, i would be happy! because then you would be gone from this world and i could finally keep the MnM's in my office. Dont forget to say hi to people when you are trick or treating this saturday. Even saying hi to a bird will make its day. i promise...unless im the bird then i will just barf on u especially if u are dressed up as a teletubbie. Happy Halloween!!!!!

Santa and Sweaters

Sometimes santa will forget about you, sometimes he will come. Sometimes you will get a present, but usually it will be an ugly sweater with a gross color. It will be so gross that people will throw up on it. Sometimes people will eat apples, sometimes they will throw apples at you, but mostly they will throw apples up on ur ugly sweater....that will probably be me so watch out or u die. Good luck!

The world of butter

You have entered the world of Butter! Welcome! In this world their will e consquences if u dont follow wat i want. If you do u will be awarded...kind of. For those who dont somethings mite change. Santa will never bring eggs, and the easter bunny will never bring presents, and the ghosts will never bring candy. Remember that if this happens to you i dont care.

Flying and falling

Sometimes you will fly, sometimes you will fall, but most likely you will fall. Don’t be afraid of failure, because you are a failure. Sometimes you will cry, and when you cry I will laugh. Then I will laugh so hard I knock ur gf off a cliff. Then you will cry harder and I will laugh some more. Then I will eat a a hot dog, because they taste good.

BTW I broke ur new phone, sorry about that,
actually I’m not that sorry. Just to let u know i feel the pain too deep on the botton of my heart...if theirs anything thats less fortunate that belongs in my heart

Imaginary Friends

In everyones life their is an imaginary friend of course my imaginary friend thinks u have serious problems...unlike ur wierdo imaginary friend mine is a beautiful blue puff named bob..he knows when ppl are stupid like the person who is reading this passage. To that person i hope they get into college no matter how dumb they are. Just remember that u do have a brain..ocasionally.

Heaters and Fridges

Sometimes the heater will turn off because it was annoyed...at u! Sometimes the refridgerator will eat all the food so then u will starve...but in a way thats ok so then u can lose weight so then u can get ur gf or bf. The stuffed animal on ur bed will enjoy u some days but today it just ignores u like ur a post. i hope u Feel the Pain. I feel it too...not really.

Red Eyes

You know,Maybe when people look at ur red eyes they pass out....ohhh i wonder y??!! Sometimes when ur doing ur hw the pencil in ur hand will stab you....but it is ok because it was meant to be. Maybe ur gf loves you but u will always ugly in my heart no matter how "pretty" you are..........

Dying...

Whenever i look at u in the mirror i see u dying of health.You look so pretty i throw flowers at u. The joy of my heart explodes with happiness that u are gone that i throw a party and u r not invited. Have a happy dead life. i hope you dont enjoy the after life.

WELCOME

Welcome to the magic insult blog. Here you will find magic insults with no meaning at all. They are beautiful and wonderful and am I being sarcastic? If I offend you, I am so sorry. I will send you and "I'm Sorry" fruit basket. Yes, I am very mean and strange, is that a problem?